The Risk.

“Ironic. Love is nothing but an irony. You’ll never know when someone is meant for you, or meant for the arms of another. And there’s no other way to know which path is for you unless you take risks. Find chances that will either be the reason for your happiness or the root of all the pain.”
One of the hardest things to do is to take a risk. It’s not because you’re too weak to do it but you’re too afraid to know the result because sometimes taking risks ruined everything. It’s not that you’re being pessimist but it’s because you’re just too afraid to be taken for granted.

They say love is a risk, and i've realized it really was because you'll always get hit out of nowhere by some wave causing you to end up on your own.

Love is everything it’s cracked up to be. That’s why people are so cynical about it. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more.

I haven’t desired a relationship in a long time, and now that I do - I can’t deny how confused I am.  Even without being in one, I already feel the love/hate aspect of being in a relationship. 

The reason why I would like to have a relationship is because I do miss having someone that I can count on.  Not in the cliche way that you’re thinking of either though.  Having someone that I can count on in such a more literal way.  Counting on them to make me laugh, to get dressed up and take me out to dinner, to stay in on a Saturday night watching movies and cuddling, to just hang out with friends, to text me good morning and good night.  I miss having that, that someone that'll be there always in an official way, in a consistent way..  I miss having a relationship where they are not only my significant other, but also my best friend.  I miss having someone to call mine, someone to be mine, and only mine.

On the flip side, it seems that relationships seem to ruin everything.  Perhaps it is simply the title that seems to start the chaos that leads to the downfall.  It’s like as soon as you’re in a relationship a switch goes off in your brain that programs you over analyze anything, and everything.  Why hasn’t he texted me yet?  He must not be interested, he must be with someone else, the list goes on and on until you’re so stuck in your head you can’t stand it.  When in reality he’s either at work, at school, sleeping, something so innocent.  And when in fact you do here from him again, you’re so relived.  But whether it’s tomorrow, next week, next month it’s going to happen to you again.  Those mind games you play with yourself.  
The thing is, it may not be just a game with you play with yourself.  There's actually may be another. And that’s a risk you have to be willing to risk.  
So in the end it all comes to just that: the risk.  Is it worth it?  The chance of getting your heart broken when you finally put yourself out there?  The chance of truly finding some happiness with someone else, even if it’s temporary? Is it worth it?

xx, myarah

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