Take You Back.

Take you back, put us back at square one, go through the same cycle, and fall apart again?. Convince me of change and I'd take you back in a heartbeat.
Obviously this is another post for my never ending love-affair with my ex-boyfriend, i was never the type to admit something in person. I always think that i'm better at writing my feelings down coz I always ending up speechless when in front of him, so if ever he'll read this, he might know how hard it was for me: I admit that I’m just a fool for you. I don't know why I think I could still trust you after everything, you haven’t proven me anything yet and I am letting you right back in. I am glad I am realizing this now because I am not going to do this again and give my 100%. I am stepping back and until you proven to me that I can trust you again, this isn’t going anywhere.

If I take you back again. Please don’t mess up this time. Don’t throw me out or use me. I want you to try. I want you to have faith in all things that's relevant to us. I want you to try like we just started dating. I want you to feel the butterflies like I do, even after all this time. I want us to work. Don’t prove everyone right and me wrong, make this work with me, because I’m trying harder than I’ve ever tried before.

Sad isn’t it? How no matter what you do or say to me… when you come running back… when you need me again… I’ll be here… right here waiting for you, I’ll take you back… no questions asked. Sad isn’t it?... Well I guess i just love you too much that I always have faith in you, that I always believe that after so many miserable falls this time again will be different, i hope.

“There’s always that one person that you run back to no matter what. And if you don’t have one of those, you probably just haven’t met them yet.”

It's really unfair how you think you can just come back whenever you want to. You can't just say your feelings never went away and that you still love me because it's unfair!. I like you, I want you, and I need to know that you'll stay this time. I caught myself looking through the emails sent back and forth many times between you and me. Then all those memories of us started flooding back into my head, and I got scared. Scared that I might not be completely over you yet. Scared that I might try. Scared that I might do something STUPID.

Just remember that the person you are getting back together with is the same person who not long before, looked you in your beautiful face, took full stock of you and all your qualities, and basically told you that he was no longer in need of your company.-MG
I’m really scared that he’s just going to do it again. Turn his back and walk away like he did that night. It’s embedded in my mind. How am I supposed to trust that he won’t? When he left me, I wanted to die and for some odd reason, I still do. He made me heave and cry in public with black mascara running down my cheeks and for some reason, not caring what anyone thought about the crying girl. I feel over-analytical and like I’m walking on eggshells.

xx, myarah


Anonymous | August 23, 2012 at 9:36 PM

follow your heart :)

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Anonymous | September 1, 2012 at 3:31 PM

I can really relate to this post - A

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