- Letting all of the memories run throughout your mind, thinking about how you might never have memory of him like those again.
- Listening to sad music, sitting there with your heart broken
- Trying not to cry, but not working
- Start out as strangers and end up as strangers again.
- Going through a great depression, wishing you had never met him.
- Wanting to kill him for breaking you heart.
Me? How do I deal with a painful experience? The most basic, I cry. I cried once, twice, thrice, sometimes I lost count. But after every crying episode, I feel better. I wish I can just cry every time; every time I feel the pain. So that time will come that there’ll be no more pain. But I can’t cry everyday. I still have my life to live, I still have other things to do. I don’t have the opportunity to cry every time I want. So, to vent out, I write. Sometimes, I write poems. And sometimes, letters. Through words, I'm expressing the way I feel, what I think and what I’m going through.. I know I can get over this.
I feel like I’m getting better, happier. Slowly, but surely, I think I’m on the track to feel okay again. I haven’t seen or speak to him in almost weeks, & it helped me to begin to let go and move on. Sure, I still love him. Sometimes I miss him. But when I come to think about it, I’m lucky we ended when we did. What kinds of arguments would have erupted if we had worked things out & tried to stay together again? What else would I have compromised for him? I’m happy I don’t have to worry about that anymore. I lost myself when I was with him. I wasted so much time, and love on him, but it could always have been worse. Better late than never I suppose.
Sometimes, a part of me still wishes he’ll decide to message me , but I know it’s best if he don’t. I can’t let myself get sucked in again by him, like last time. I just can’t bring myself to block him from everything though. Even though he doesn't care about me, I still care about him, & I want to leave things open if he ever need to talk to me, just as two mature people. But I’m doing well without him. I’m reading again. I’m hanging out with so many new & different people. I’m looking for a good Fashion school, & I’m going to try to do my best in everything. Yes, things are pretty good right now, I've got friends who supports me all the way. That's all that matters.