Hollowed Heart.

"No one can look at me the same way you look at me. No one can smile at me the same as you smile at me. No one can drive me mad like you can. And even though you are around I always find myself missing you."-Blink 182

Okay creeeep. Is it a mere coincidence or what. HAHAHA Last Saturday (121011) i published "Mind Over Matter". I told you guys that i'm really trying my hardest to not let him occupy my mind. I didn't notice that my phone vibrated or even beeped after an hour or so. And looking at it... the sender's name is my ex's name. HAHAHA I can't believe it, the world is pulling some strings now... -- i'm kinda nervous to open it - expecting for the worst, i've read the message, it says... "I miss you so badly, Good night :)" - Holycow.. HAHAHAHA He just literally made my heart do cartwheels. Oh brother!! I really think that it's just a coincidence though, considering the fact that i'm blocked on his FB so there's no way he could see my publishing entry (if not right away). I think God is challenging me on how long can I keep him off from my mind, i swear. *laughs* :)

It’s strange hearing you say you miss me. I guess I never thought i’d hear you say that again. I feel apprehensive to put myself out there and allow my heart to grab hold of you fully again. Because I know if I do it will be filled with nights of not sleeping, constantly wanting to talk to you and waiting for a reply. It’s a constant battle and while I have this fight with myself deep down I know I probably haven’t even crossed your mind always like you've crossed mine. I don’t want to to be stuck in that spot again. But given the opportunity to have you back I wouldn't think twice. You’re all I want.

I just stared at his text until i fell asleep, just reading it over and over again made me warm and can't help but to smile. It's funny how simple things can still make a big impact on me. I also misses him, i miss him terribly and i want to try to talk to him, but all I end up doing is pressing backspace on the keyboard… Don't get me wrong guys, but the thing is, I think I’m getting okay. I think I’m getting over it, over him. I think I’m gonna be okay with moving on. Until I give myself just a few minutes to myself. Just a few minutes to think about all the times when I was truely happy. The times when I was so sure of myself and everything that I was…. all those times involve him. He made me better.
This love is difficult, but it's real- Taylor Swift

I might have erased his old texts But I will never forget what he wrote. We might have stopped talking, But I will never forget his voice. I miss him when something really good happens, because you are the one I want to share it with. I miss him when something is troubling me, because you are the one who understands me so well. I miss him when I laugh and cry because I know that you are the one that makes my laughter grow and my tears disappear. I miss him all the time, but I miss him most when I lay awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spend with each other; for those were some of the best times of my life. ♥

The thought of never talking to him again, or looking into his eyes, or feeling him hug me, really sucks. I know that & it sucks even more because it’s already a reality. I never thought we would amount to this. The absolute dumbest part of all of this is, i still miss you. i shouldn't. The thought of me seeing you makes my heart skip beats, even just remembering our memories together but only until i snap out of it & realize it was just a daydream. If that doesn't makes sense, it's just that i miss what we had & what we stood for.

xx, myarah


Mark | December 13, 2011 at 9:55 PM

iba ka tlga 5555 :)) `bowdown`

Marah Gaa | December 13, 2011 at 10:01 PM

Mark - haha endangered species? lol Thanks po 'Mark-whoever-you-are" :)

Kevin | December 13, 2011 at 10:18 PM

Hi Ate Marah your an inspiration.You are indeed a unique one:)

Marah Gaa | December 13, 2011 at 10:35 PM

Kevin - aww salamt po !! :)

Anonymous | December 13, 2011 at 10:59 PM

Sweet <3

Arriana | December 14, 2011 at 9:17 AM

hey anne! i love this ;)

Marah Gaa | December 14, 2011 at 7:12 PM

Anon - thanks! :)

Arriana - Anne of Green Gables. haha lol thanks fo the love <3 :)

Anonymous | December 15, 2011 at 12:06 PM

You said he made you better, but don't forget _ you made yourself the best. ^^ - 66

anthonette | December 15, 2011 at 4:11 PM

Gaaah i was once this! Ahhhh, tamis!<3 hahahaha. kakakilig, kakaiyak, kakamiss! lahat na! lol :)

Marah Gaa | December 16, 2011 at 10:49 PM

Thanks guys! huggs! :)

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