"All is fair in love and war"- 1508
nothing beats a misunderstanding except a good conversation. I called him right away to clear things once and for all. In my mind I'm practicing things that I'll tell him when he picks up the phone. Like "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?!" And then I've heard his honeyed voice, my resolution instantly crumbled... I'm like "Hey, it's me" LMAO - okay fine! HAHAHA i want to laugh it all off. Geeez love made me weak. *laughs*. I flood of relief washed through me because I'm using a different number & i haven't told him my name yet, so he still knows me after all, esp my voice. I don't know but it made me happy and mushy even though that's not really the point of the call. HAHAHA
We both know the shit has gotten out of hand & these problems only seem to expand. He's supposed to be my hero instead he's my foe. I never ever thought I could feel this mixed emotion. We’ve both been putting on a depressing state. We’re each other’s biggest disappointments. We’re each other’s worst nightmares. We’re each other's. Stubborn as bulls. Empty as a desert. I could say that I don't care, but in all reality... you were the best thing in my life for a while. And I could never hate someone who made me happy once. I don't know but he has such a strong effect on me even up to now.
The good thing is through the whole conversation i can say it went so well. We even laugh about some of the parts, even made jokes. Fixed the situation. We talked for almost an hour, i think. It's like nothing has change, but all is different. Odd enough, i think he knows pretty much well what I'm supposed to mean by this. *smiles“What if we just acknowledged that we have a bad relationship, and we stuck it out, anyway? What if we admitted that we make each other nuts, we fight constantly, but we can’t live without each other, so we deal with it? And then we could spend our lives together — in misery, but happy to not be apart.”
— Elizabeth Gilbert Eat, Pray, Love
“I didn’t plan on falling in love with you, and I doubt if you planned on falling in love with me. But once we met, it was clear that neither of us could control what was happening to us. We fell in love, despite our differences, and once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has happened only once and that’s why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I’ll never forget a single moment of it.”
Your honeyed voice, takes me back every time, I got no choice but to relive those sweet memories, you still take my breath away but that you and I, its just too hard, I break your heart while you break mine, But its not as complicated, as it seemed so long ago. All those demands and expectations, Crashed and burning. I feel so strong yet so weak. We are stuck in this love and war, and no one's winning. *sigh* oh my heart!