Just because I closed the book, doesn't mean the pain is going to go away quickly. I thought things were normal, things were looking better for both of us. Yes, you and I weren’t speaking, but we still were at least hanging on by a thread.
When my close friends asks "How's the moving on goin'" and i'll reply as same old, same old - one step at a time. They'll just laugh and say there're many fishes on the sea blah blah blah. I got their point it's been already a few months, but you know what they say, you can't easily forget someone who gave you so much to remember. It's like trying to remember someone you didn't even encounter on your whole life. I'm not in a hurry though, i'm happy and contented with my life. Thank God for that. :)It’s a shame because we love each other so much. But in the end, we can’t stay together forever.
I’m stuck in a ruckus. Honestly, how do I escape? I really think I want to, but I don’t know how to. I’ve been trapped for like more that a year with him. I’m tired of him occupying my mind constantly and having nostalgia smack me across the face every once in awhile. His memory keeps coming back though. We talk everyday before and when we do it’s for hours and hours and now we don't not even a single Hi or Hello. I’m sick of looking for him in every other guy I see, because there’s obviously nobody else like him out there. He's a loser, my kind of loser. *smiles* so I’m setting myself up for failure and disappointment. I don’t know. I’m rambling because I don’t even know what I’m trying to say because I don’t even know how to resolve this.
It's not the Goodbye that hurts, but the Flashbacks that follow.
Honestly i don't want to runaway coz it will just haunt you, i don't want to be a coward so i might as well face it, right?. I haven't thought there'll be a day that all of the memories will keep running back. HAHA They say focus on the bad things, the imperfections, the wrong-doings, it'll surely make you forget or even hate him. What's the strongest feeling other than love... hate. If you do that you'll wake up from the madness and you'll be cured completely from the lovesickness. Satisfaction guaranteed. LOL
|-The Perks of Being A Wallflower|
Too bad, i don't have a heart to hate. *wink* Instead i'll keep on focusing on the good memories... like when he gave me a flower, but because of my clumsiness i broke it's stem by ACCIDENT or the way he pinches my nose or teases me about my haircolor or his never-ending pick-up lines HAHA i think it's better that way... to inhale Love and exhale Hate. I don't want to be bitter about it. It will contradict all the beliefs i had and all the blogs i posted in here. & yup, i'm missing him so much but i'm moving on at the same time. I'm still knowing how can i do it both. :)