Stay Calm and Let God.

“Don’t worry about a thing, every little thing is gonna be alright.

— Bob Marley

You win some, You lose some.
This is inevitable/unavoidable, whatsoever in a relationship and always has been. But there’s no sense in holding onto your bitterness or anger for whatever loss or hurt you’ve experienced for longer than you have to. I see this in my friends all the the time but i find that it’s more pronounced when i see it in myself. I think the problem is that when we willingly remain angry, we dwell on and wallow in the destruction of this one emotion. We relish in the harm it causes to ourselves, like the self-justified masochists we are and love to be.
I’ve been accused of being emotionally detached from those i am close to. Simply because when i lose somebody, i don’t ever seem to be very angry with them. at least not for a very long time. No matter how much they hurt me, no matter much i hurt them, no matter how much i loved them. I always keep myself composed too quickly, i don't rant or tell the whole world how badly hurt i am. I guess it’s unsettling, it's very not normal, for anyone who can't seem to express how they really feel. The absence of my resentment or hatred towards that person is supposed to indicate how much i really cared about them in the first place (i.e. not at all).
…maybe that’s true. & I still think it’s better than staying angry.

I don’t resent so-and-so. I just resent their actions.

really what is the difference? what is it that i am not getting?

Sometimes I just wish I could tell others how I feel. But I was not used to show my feelings. People wonder why I'm having a hard time trying to trust them. I tell them its not personal because its true. Its just that after so many people hurted you its hard to let down your guard. As a result of this, my soul is constantly crying. That’s the worst kind of pain to feel. I'm the type of person that doesn't usually get angry. I just don't have a heart to contain that emotion within me. Think about it, every seconds, minutes or hours that will passed with you angry, is a time wasted. So I always tell myself to stay calm and let God be in control.

xx, myarah

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